I don't miss our relationship, I don't feel broken hearted over him hanging off his side of the bed or not talking to me. I am absolutely broken over my kids not having their dad around all the time, and the idea of living completely alone for days on end is scary. Just the idea that for the first time in over 40 years there won't be anyone there to tell me what or when to do something, someone to have an opinion about the things that I do. But the idea of being able to soak in the tub with a bottle of wine and then crawl into bed is so inviting. I can have company without wondering if it is going to be an issue or fight or whatever...
Navigating life with jobs, kids, mental illness and now separated. This is the journey of sorting out the last 2 decades and making sense of where I am.